Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sometimes You Just Gotta Rhyme

So ... my brain had an interesting day. And that manifested in my writing over twenty three-line poems for my friends. And then later getting into a disagreement with coworkerDaniel about Haikus versus Rhyming Poetry. The results are below.

Lisette has awesome hair and dresses.
Lisette will help you clean your messes.
Lisette also steals coffee presses.

Nicole works in disaster zones.
Nicole answers all the phones.
She bakes her bread from ground-up bones.

Ren flees from Bears at every turn.
He'll watch Jane Eyres and Helen Burn.
For more Doctor Who we both do yearn.
Terra has a parasite.
It gave us a big Terra-fright.
Her beta blockers alien-fight.
Terra has a brain possession.
Our #madesthing is her obsession.
It makes her cry - but I digression.
Sarah styled my hair for prom.
Sarah's tattoos are the bomb.
When Sarah cooks we OmNomNom.

Joe once played my Uncle Al.
On 30 Rock, he had a scowl
When Tina tried to be his pal.

Danielly drove us to IHOP
For pancakes with choc. chips on top.
It was 3 am - don't tell my pop.

Patrick can scream like an ape.
Patrick looks good in a cape -
He says he likes the flowy shape.

Karen is my little cuz
Who's taller than me - what the fuzz?
I guess we're not all what we was.

Jess Levesque's name almost rhymes,
So she saved me a bit of time(s).
I think she likes to beat up mimes.

Marissa has a special skill
For staring at you with a chill -
Makes weaker parties lose their will.

Gazh knows more stuff than you do:
Smarter than bears, knows Kung Fu.
Don't cross her or she'll run you through.

Daniel sure is supercool.
Daniel's cooler than a fool.
Daniel went to superschool.

Daniel drops sunglasses over a rail.
Daniel works at a company too big to fail.
If Daniel breaks vases he winds up in jail.

Carla wears pretty pink dresses and has shiny blonde hair.
Carla climbs stairs that lead to nowhere.
Carla cracked corn but she doesn't care.

Dan can write computer codes.
Dan likes True Blood episodes.
In that show, a vampire explodes.

Dan takes pictures of a lake.
It used to be a pond (it's fake).
I'm worried flooding brought a snake.

Daddy wrote silly poems first.
Some are better, some are worst.
I'd say our family is curst.
And then here is the result of the Haiku debate (with profound apologies to Dr. Seuss):

All the Whos down in Who-ville liked Zelda's silly poems a lot.
But the DANIEL, who lived in Haiku-land, did NOT.
The Daniel HATED rhymed poems - he thought them a bore!
(the Whos pointed out that haikus made them snore)

"And they're rhyming their couplets," he snarled with a sneer.
"They don't count their syllables! They just go on and on and on and on with no clearEye to the simplicity of a short turn of thought!
All I'm saying is, they don't write as they ought!"

Staring down from his too-high swivel chair with a small Daniel frown
At the Fezzik-like Whos a-rhyming in their town,
Daniel sighed, with his writing fingers nervously drumming.
"I must find some way to stop more rhymes from coming!.

"But how to begin?
I could try to be clever,
Or just be quiet now."


  1. an additional one:

    There's a girl at bar trivia whose first name is Rose,
    And she brings charisma where'er she goes.
    That's why no one minds that she's missing four toes.

  2. Another one:

    Erin Keskeny had nary a penny, and only two dimes, to her name.
    But she had enough pluck to find her own luck, and if you were her you'd do the same.
    So she molded some pottery, entered the lottery, and starred in a revival of Mame.